Not just another new year

It's that time of year, everyone is making plans for tonight and resolutions for the new year.  I'm finding myself doing neither.  New Year's isn't a big holiday for us typically, although it is the night on which Stuart proposed, which was ideal actually since I totally wasn't expecting it.  But I digress.

As I was saying, with just that one exception, it's normally a pretty quiet night for us.  Maybe a get together with another couple.  No big blowouts.  No massive January 1st hangovers.  And I typically don't make new year's resolutions, since I think that decisions about shifting your life in new directions shouldn't be made just because the calendar says so (yes, I appreciate the irony considering my current state!).

Even still, this new year's seems momentous.  I'm looking forward to being asleep well before midnight, partially because I know that I will see far too many midnights (and 2a.m.s and 3a.m.s...) in the months to come.  I still haven't made a "2010 Race Plan" like I have every year for the past five or six years since starting triathlon.  And I know that when I stop to think about the unknowns facing us not just in the next month but in the next 18+ years, it takes my breath away.  December 31st 2002 changed my life forever in ways I would have never foreseen when I willingly and happily agreed to become a wife and stepmother.  In the same way, the dawning of 2010 is bringing about a change greater than I can possibly fathom.  I stand on the edge of this year filled with excitement and fear, anticipation and nervousness, joy and the knowledge that there will be heartache, too.  

With only about 5wks to go, I think I'm about as ready as I'm going to get.  Stuart thinks I'm more ready - mentally, emotionally and physically -- than I realize.  I hope he's right!

Christmas 2009, 34wks pregnant