A new year

Global warming is real, don't let anyone tell you differently.  I'm sure that a lot of it is the result of humans, but I also think it's possibly part of the cycles of climate change on this planet over millions of years.  Either way, as a parent I worry about the implications.  As a person, I love it!  How else could I enjoy a 60 degree day on the trail in mid-January!

While pushing my now almost-3yr old in her stroller, I thought about this dormant blog.  I realized it's been almost 2yrs.  The ankle has healed, although it makes its presence known every time I get even a little active, even as simple as climbing stairs. 

I also realized that it's time.  It's time to try and bring the word athlete back into the description of who I am.  Since that last post, I've done a few road races ranging from 5Ks to a half marathon, and 2 or 3 triathlons.  Yet, on a day to day basis, I have been almost singularly focused on being the best mother and wife I can be. 

As my little girl is getting older, though, and notices when I sweat or asks if I'm going to go exercise, it occurs to me that I had made a promise to myself way back when.  A promise that my daughter would grow up in a household that was healthy and active, with a strong and fit mother as a role model.  And right now, I'm failing in this promise. 

You know how sometimes you see yourself in a dream or imagine what you look like? I've realized that the image of myself in my dreams no longer matches reality.  That stubborn ten pounds that has me straining against my jeans, that's slowed my already slow pace, that has impacted my self esteem more than it should.  And, in not too distant history I had a birthday.  One of those big milestone birthdays with a "0" at the end.  That means, becoming again who I want to be is definitely not going to get any easier. 

While I strongly doubt that anyone has even stumbled upon this blog in years, I'm feeling the need to make a sorta public statement.  Not a New Year's resolution.  More a reclamation of a promise.

There isn't an Ironman in the near future, but there's a lot between that and sitting on the couch.  Don't get me wrong, infinite games of Candyland and snuggling while reading Bear on a Bike or Goodnight Moon are as close to perfect as life comes.  And there is a place for it here.  That means, though, that I need to re-appear here as mom, wife, and yes, athlete once again.  Older, slower, yet hopefully an athlete nonetheless. 

Giant Acorn postscript

Gratuitous baby photo...

hadn't uploaded before I wrote my race report, but this is what awaited me at the finish line.  How could I not be motivated? 

It's like starting from scratch

With the weather finally stabilizing in spring mode, Riley and I are taking every opportunity to get out of the house.  Whether it's walks in the neighborhood, or efforts at "running" on the trails, I'm beginning to log some miles. 
My "comeback race" is now less than a month away, the Zooma 10K in Annapolis.  A year ago, I was daunted by the concept of potentially training for a 50K endurance race with Star.  Now, after 9-1/2months of pregnancy, 4wks of bedrest, and 8wks of post-birth recovery, a 10K seems like just as momentous of a hurdle.

What I am calling runs these days, most people would call the Jeff Galloway run/walk method.  Nice little interval workouts, except those run intervals are still pretty short.  For now, I'm enjoying two aspects of this though.  First, man oh man had I forgotten just how good it feels to really sweat!  My arms and face are getting a touch of color, and I have that pleasantly salty, sweaty, I worked hard feeling at the end of one of these 3-5mile jaunts.  By the time we get home, Riley is usually hungry, and she's getting used to the taste of salty milk for now.

The second piece of this is that my goal is to actually increase my normal running speed.  I realized that if I'm starting from scratch in building fitness, I might as well make those run intervals at a faster pace - with the goal of coming back with a 9min/mi instead of a 10 or 11min/mi pace.  We'll see if it works, but for now I'm enjoying it.

Stuart is committed to helping me get my fitness back and drop these stupid pounds.  So Mother's Day was a lot of fun around here.  My gift -- a TREADMILL -- should be delivered this week.  And, Riley and I had a wonderful run together that day.  Not sure when a triathlon will fit into my season, but it will.  Somehow.

Spring is sprunging

And I can feel my body healing and my muscles just aching to get used!  After next week's doctor's visit, where I hope he'll be giving me the all clear, I'll be investing in new pairs of walking and running shoes.  Then it'll be time to hit the trails with Miss Riley. 

I didn't take a photo, but we got the most appropriate gift from some dear friends up in Rhode Island.  They sent us a baby swim suit, baby running shoes, and a baby sweat suit.  All we need to do is provide the tricycle and Riley is ready for her first triathlon!  The question is, what about mom? It's April, and I'm starting to think about what's do-able in terms of tris this year.  I know of at least one superstar new mommy who will be doing a half iron this fall, and that has me thinking.  Can I do that, or should I stick with more modest goals of getting in an Olympic or two before the season is out? What about throwing in a half marathon or two? I'm thinking that any century rides are out...Riley will be too small for a trailer, and that's probably too long to spend away from her on a weekend day, considering that I'll be back at work by June.

Trying to be supportive of Stuart's quest for IM USA this July, considering that I'm the one that signed him up.  But I honestly have to admit that I'm now kind of wanting him to pull out.  I knew I could handle the long weekend training days, but I hadn't factored in the toll of 2hr workouts after work during the week.  He gets home and wants to bike and run....I want to hand off a semi-cranky Riley for a little bit of non-mommy "me" time.  We're continuing this discussion.  I hate the idea of being unsupportive, but do feel it's the right decision for our family, and just need to convince him of that!

The days are lengthening and warming up.  And, as hoped, Riley is learning to love her stroller and the adventures it brings...

One month already?

Whew.  Everyone tells you that life will change, but you can't imagine the ways in which it will change or excite or exhaust you.  In a blur of days and nights with never-ending rounds of feeding and holding Riley, a month has gone by.  Amazing.  My respect for mothers everywhere, especially those with more than one child, has grown exponentially.

We had a beautiful week of May-like weather this week, so she got much more adept at time in her stroller as I walked as much as I could.  Things are still sore and I'm supposed to be limiting my activity, but it was so critical to just get out. of. the. house. even for 20 or 30 minutes.  And, as I write this, we are using the Baby Bjorn and Riley is asleep.  Suddenly, new worlds might be opening for me and my little one if she's willing to be portable.

Ya' see, Riley refuses to sleep anywhere but in my arms.  Not in her pack and play, not in her carseat, not anywhere.  So I've spent the last month sleeping upright with her in my arms, occasionally trying to trick her by laying her down after she's asleep.  That lasts about 10min before she's awake and screaming. 

My point here being that any activity (including blogging) has been extremely curtailed because even though she sleeps a ton, all that sleeping is done ON ME and I can't use the time to be productive. (You try typing, brushing your teeth, doing dishes, or making lunch one-handed)  My OB has cleared me to do some light upper body weightlifting even, but I can't do that since the only weight I'm lifting is a now-8lb 5oz ball of cuteness.

I'll admit, this has been wonderful but tough.  I shed more than a few tears one day last week -- admitting to enviousness at my husband for his runs and bike rides, while I simply sit holding our beautiful but headstrong daughter.  Even a friend who had a more normal birth ten days before me is already doing 2hr hikes while I sit with baby in one hand and tv remote in the other.  Patience.  I must have patience.  Running and biking clothes will fit again.  I'll get to move and the rest of the baby weight will go away.  Riley will occasionally sleep apart from me.

I know I'll miss this stage once it's gone, but really, if I can't do a 2hr bike ride or go for a run, is a few hours sleep too much to ask!?!?

Slow return to active life

I've learned that one of the many downsides of a c-section is that recovery can be that much more difficult and risky than a normal delivery.  Trickle down effect therefore being that my return to an active life is delayed even more.

Riley and I met up with a friend and her newborn yesterday for coffee.  Jen's son was born only ten days before Riley, and Jen has already taken 2hr hikes with her baby in a carrier!! Me....just this week I was cleared for "easy activity" and driving short distances.  Therefore, a few walks around the block and one major outing for a 1mile stroll have been the extent of my fitness efforts.

I know I have to be patient or all sorts of yucky, non-plesant things could happen that delay my recovery even further.  In the meantime, life is a lot like bedrest, except that Riley has joined me!  At least with spring coming, cycling and triathlon are starting to replace skiing on Universal Sports, so I'm watching Tirreno-Adriatico and replays of Ironman 2009 and dreaming of things to come.

I'm not as tired as I expected to be in general, but find that 9pm bedtimes work just fine.  Riley is slowly being adjusted to sleeping on top of mom to nights in her own bassinet, and isn't thrilled with that process or her carseat....but I've explained to her that she will learn since she doesn't have much of a choice!

The World is a Better Place

On February 21st, after 58 hours of unmedicated labor and a semi-emergency c-section, Riley Joan made her appearance at 12:15am.  Stuart and I are overjoyed, and think she's nothing short of perfect.  Strong and beautiful, she had to fight for a few minutes after her birth, so we know she's going to be one resilient baby.  We keep eyeing that baby jogger, and as soon as it warms up we'll be out on the trails first walking then running.  Mommy and Daddy have races this summer, and Riley will be fan #1.