Now THAT'S Training

If I can stay awake until 9:30 tonight I'll consider it a minor miracle. Not much to say except to document some tough tough work today.

We made it to spin class at 7:30 this morning just in time. Bikes were going fast, and a guy who showed up at 7:31 actually got turned away because the class was full. The instructor was awesome -- a triathlete herself, and the class was clearly full of cyclists and triathletes so the entire workout was a solid imitation of a real outdoor ride. During the break between the two classes, we actually contemplated bailing early, but after popping a few Clif Shot Bloks I'm so glad we didn't. First, I got in almost the equivalent of 45miles of riding, which I really needed. Second, I'd have had to live with the fact that I cut out early. Tired and sweaty, we headed home for a hot bath and a nap after a 2:32 ride.

My plan had been to hit the pool this afternoon, something I haven't done in almost two weeks. But Emily called and asked if I'd consider a 6.5mile run with her -- she had one on her schedule but was in need of motivation. Again, I considered saying no. But, I haven't done anything resembling a brick or bike-run day in months, and I knew that I could too easily blow off the swim. Having to meet someone in 45minutes meant no fooling around I was getting another workout in. And, she's just cool, so it would be fun to run with her. I had originally been planning to run with Heather on Sunday, but with Billy coming out from the Academy to spend the day, I knew that wasn't going to happen so this was perfect.

Man, can that woman run!!! They live in super hilly North Arlington, so we ran all over hell and back. Emily chatting the whole time, me gasping for air as I struggled to keep pace and not die as we climbed Military Road. I survived though... 6.5miles in 1:07. Acceptable, but a good kick in the pants. Ten weeks from today until the Kinetic Half. I need to do a LOT of work between now and then. Now if only it weren't supposed to SNOW tomorrow. Seriously, I need to move south.

First though, I need a huge bowl of homemade soup and some quality time with my pillow tonight!

Topsy Turvy Day

Thank goodness for friends, acquaintances and good old-fashioned sweat. After Daniel's supposed last night here, during which he cooked an amazing meal for us, Julie, and Bill, and then at midnight per his request I gave him a haircut with the dog clippers(!), I knew the morning would dawn early. As I walked into work, grabbing a big cup of coffee, it finally hit me that my Granni was gone. That now I didn't have any grandmothers. I suddenly felt very lost and sitting at my desk found myself in tears.

My sister-in-law Connie had emailed me last week that she knew sometimes it takes a while before the reality of death sets in. And I think that because we came back from her funeral and immediately had to get ready for Dan's arrival, I sort of filed it away. Sad, but coping. So this morning, having said goodbye to Daniel and therefore realizing we were moving back into normal day-to-day life, that grief kind of hit. Not just missing my Granni, but also missing my Grandma (who died in 2004) all over again. Two amazing women who played such central roles in my life. My heart aches that I'll never hear their voices call me by their pet names for me. Never feel either of them hug me. Never hear Granni say "I'm nuts about you" or Grandma say "be not afraid" - my little catch phrase with each of them. And I'm sad.

It's something I suppose is to be expected, but not great timing as I was prepping for a big meeting with my client and the characters over at the Pentagon. An email to my uncle, a call to one of my best friends, and a hug from another friend who happened to stick her head in my cube (thanks, KZ!), and I managed to pull myself together without any of the client staff realizing that moments earlier I had mascara leaking down my face. Luckily, the meeting was actually energizing. I enjoy negotiations and it got me in a more positive mood. On the way home, I also talked to Erin and we're both so ready to kick off the new Girls on the Run season next week. I know I was in need of reasons to smile, to shore up the hole in my heart.

Get home, putzing around, and Stuart's phone rings. It's Dan, still at BWI and his flight was cancelled due to weather in Minneapolis (his layover). So, he's headed back to Arlington for one more night with us. Great, no problem. I cry a little bit more to Stuart but then get ready for the =PR= run.

What a surprise -- Amy actually shows up tonight!! (just teasing, since I know she reads this). It was a tough route, but one I'd recommended a month or so ago since it's partially through this really pretty neighborhood that I love. Lots of steady uphills, so no rest for the weary. Amy, Shannon and I ran together, and they wouldn't let me slack. I felt sluggish, and was breathing very hard the whole way -- definitely a tough tempo run. Usually I can always manage to at least come up with a burst of speed for the last block or two sprint back to the store. Not tonight, I just didn't have that extra gear. I hung in there, but it wasn't too pretty! 4.5miles in less than 45min including stops at multiple stoplights, so that's not too shabby I suppose. And, it did help a little bit that it was in the high 50s. So nice to wear capris and just one long-sleeve shirt. 23 days until spring!!!! We're all so psyched that we only have one more run in the darkness before Daylight Savings Time. Yay!!

Home to Stuart, Dan and the dogs, Thai food and the very disturbing "Batman: The Dark Knight" on DVD. They're still watching it as I write this, but I'm already anticipating nightmares from the thriller elements of the first half of the movie, so I walked out midway to write this entry instead.

Emotionally, I think I'm spent today. I have to work tomorrow, but am ready for another weekend. At the same time, I'm filled with gratitude to be surrounded by friends, family and acquaintances who, knowingly or not, are able to buoy me and give me strength when I'm faltering. I know I'll be okay. Today was a reminder that there is a process I need to go through and no matter how hard I try, I can't just put it aside. But, I have faith ("be not afraid"). I have the love of those around me ("I'm nuts about you"). And I have two grandmothers in Heaven right now who helped make me strong, and they wouldn't have it any other way.

Running the Sahara

My friend Andrea, whom I was lucky enough to meet through Trifuel, has been a role model since meeting her a year and a half ago. Not only is she chasing her third Ironman, but she's taken up ultra-running and makes it seem so alluring. She also is constantly taunting/daring/ encouraging me to try one with her some day, but so far I've demurred. But, I've constantly been leery, boy is that a LOT of running, and especially with the tendonitis I've been battling since 2007, even a once-simple marathon seems out of my reach.

Tonight was my standard Thursday night women's run with Potomac River Running, and for the first time in a while I was the slowest one there. Granted, I've missed the last two weeks between Granni's funeral and just emotional/physical exhaustion. So maybe I haven't put in a really hard run since January. But also just that the women there tonite were good, including the newcomer who explained that her slow pace was a 9:30 mile. Amy (the store caboose) stood me up, so I was in for some work to make sure that I wasn't the one who got dropped. Long story short -- thank God for a few traffic lights and the headwinds which had us change our route, I managed to hang on. Accounting for stops at lights, I ended up averaging about a 9:13 pace for the 4.5miles. Dang fast for me!!! I came home frozen, and spent a good twenty minutes in a hot shower trying to thaw out.

Surfing channels with Dan (that's him in the middle between my two nephews in a photo from his visit last May) I saw that Showtime was showing "Running the Sahara", which I'd heard about but never seen. I didn't think we got that channel,but Daniel clicked it just to check, and sure enough, we came in about halfway through the movie. I was instantly entranced. Obviously we missed the beginning where they likely described their motivations and purpose, but instead were thrust right into the middle of the expedition. Watching the emotional peaks and valleys, trying to understand even a fraction of what their minds and bodies were experiencing, the aches from my run just an hour earlier suddenly seemed less acute.

I finished watching with tears rolling down my cheeks, moved by the same emotions I feel watching anything from the Tour de France, to Ironman races, to any demonstration of man pushing the limits of his abilities. A thread on Trifuel the last day or two is questioning triathlon as art. While I don't think of my own training as art (more like plodding along!), I do find beauty in images (whether still or live) of athletes in motion. Is beauty art? If so, the power I find in these images is, to me, art as powerful as the most beautiful scenes in the museums and cathedrals of Europe.

And suddenly, motivation I'd been seeking has presented itself. The power of the spirit to reach beyond the possible. Suddenly, a simple little 60min workout seems like nothing. As I continue to put out there my desire to push my own limits - an Ironman, maybe an ultra run - draw strength from the achievements of others. Why am I seeking these metaphorical mountain tops? What draws me?

Maybe it's the idea that I will someday see my own journey as art. That, in the words of Christina Aguilera, "I am beautiful in every single way". For now, watching others and gaining faith in my own possibilities is enough. And Andrea, don't think that part of that dream doesn't involve joining you at a starting line somewhere and someday!

Sharing a hobby

My stepson Daniel arrived Tuesday evening for a ten day visit from California. Unless you and your folks are best friends, I've found that one of the challenges of adult children visiting their parents is how to spend that "quality time". I know it's something I sort of dread when visiting my own parents -- these are the people that raised you, but you have different lives and different interests. How do you find ways to enjoy time together without always carrying the baggage of childhood with you.

We love Daniel very much and hate that for now he has chosen to establish his life so far away. But, in terms of how we spend our free time, his choices and our's tend to be radically different. And especially with Stuart's shoulder not working right now, things like golf (which was a hobby they used to share together when Dan was younger) aren't an option. So yesterday we proposed that he come to spin class with us. Surprisingly he was game.

We arrived super early to get good bikes (turns out they've redone the cycle room and they're all good now), get Daniel set up, and just get an extra 30min of riding done. It took him about 20 min to get dialed in and comfortable, but he was pretty open minded about it. This wasn't our favorite instructor, but it was kind of fun to watch Stuart and Dan working and sweating side by side. He hung with it through the entire workout, which was impressive for a first-timer.

Afterwards, he kept a positive attitude, but wouldn't commit to doing it once more with us next week before he leaves. Whether he does or doesn't, I know it meant a lot to Stuart (and to me) that he was willing to engage in something important to us. And maybe we gave him a peek into the benefits, fun and endorphins that are involved in healthy lifestyle choices. The real challenge as parents is how to find those of his pasttimes and pursuits that we aren't in conflict about, and engage him. Let him broaden our view into his world.

Is it February...or is it April???

Back and forth to Ohio this week for my Granni's funeral, I was consoling myself that "it's only February". And that while I should be ramping up training soon, it's still that winter base phase, so another few days of poor or missed workouts wasn't a nightmare.

Yesterday though, I made a realization. Since I decided to sign up for an early season half ironman, February is no longer February. Instead, it's more like April or May in that I have a major race only 2-1/2months from now. yikes! With that in mind, I got in a couple of solid training sessions this weekend.

Friday afternoon I snuck over to the pool once we got back from Ohio. Then yesterday, Nick and I got in another awesome 8mile run before a romantic Valentines Day dinner with Stuart. He was just so happy the whole time, a nice steady pace...nothing worth writing home about, but a good distance type of run.

Then today I met up with Emily for a solid bike ride. Dang is it hilly between her house and mine!!! My legs were already hurting from yesterday's run, and as we headed down Sycamore towards the W&OD we both hit these nasty potholes under the overpass. It wasn't until a mile down the road that I realized my water bottle had been ejected. ugh. Luckily we were taking it easy. It was sunny but still cold, and my already raw throat had me gasping for air quite a bit. Despite all that, we put in a respectable 33miles today.

Now at home watching the Tour of California and preparing for another USA Triathlon coaching webinar. I still feel as if there's so much to learn before advertising for clients, but I'm doing everything I can to grab that knowledge with both hands.

Weekend Fun

After last week's busy and tense weekend, this one was awesome. First, Billy's last home swim meet, so my aunt, uncle and youngest cousin Katie came up from NC for the weekend. He did awesome, as usual. He's such an incredible swimmer, and we're going to miss him once he heads to Pensacola this fall for flight school.

In the meantime, much fun seeing Katie, too.

On top of the family fun, it was WARM outside. As in 60+ degrees warm. Saturday before heading to Billy's meet, Nick and I snuck out for another 4-ish mile run. It's about that time of year that I should start wearing my heart rate monitor again, but I've definitley gotten used to running without it.

This afternoon, after they all left, it was time to pull out the road bike. Stuart rode this morning with our neighbor Eric so I was on my own. Shorts, short-sleeved DC Tri jersey and arm warmers. Beautiful weather, and as I'm coasting down our street towards the trail I'm all smiley and cheery. And then I turned west -- to be met head-on by a strong wind. Luckily, it wasn't a cold wind, but it was powerful. And without Stuart to block it for me, I averaged around 13mph for the first hour of my ride. This was supposed to be a longer, aerobic ride and so I chose not to fight the wind, although I am a bit embarassed for my tri club teammates that I was out there toddling along in club gear. I made up for it once I turned around,though. Gotta love a tail wind!

By late in the week it will be back down in the 40s, but this was a great respite from winter. Only about 40 days until spring and only about 90 days until my first half ironman of the season. yikes!

Getting Back in the Groove

After a great start to 2009, January ended with a whimper. Girls on the Run of NoVA is going through some staff and Board transitions, which is always both a scary and exciting time for any organization. As of the 8hr(!) Board meeting this past Saturday, I'm now the Board President. That culminated a week in which I put in probably about 25hrs of GOTR-related time on top of my normal job.

Throw in a quick trip home to see my very ill Granni, and other than Thursday's =PR= run, my body was almost forgetting how to sweat. Yes, I've kept up with the 50 Days of Core, which ends on February 13th, but most of the last week was about remembering to throw down a quick 25 half-asleep crunches before climbing into bed.

After spending yesterday in the cardiac ICU, my alarm went off this morning at 3:45 so that I could catch my 6am flight back to DC. Stuart picked me up at the airport, and fortified by a pre-flight mocha and post-flight vanilla latte, I managed to survive the workday. Getting home I was SO tempted to bag a workout and take a nap. But, my first tri of the season is only three months away. Waiting until April to be serious won't cut it. What do I want to accomplish this year? Am I happy being average? Maybe even if I bust my tail I'll still be middle of the pack, but have I really truly given my all in the past four seasons of triathlon? Then the question is, what am I waiting for? I need to stop dreaming and, like Nike says, Just Do It. The last week or two of GOTR shows that I have the available time, and the self discipline....if it's important enough to me. So, is it? That needs to be the million dollar question as I start to think about 6am workouts. Soon enough the light will come and rides to work will be possible. In fact, I think we're there....I just again need to get in the habit. Winter's not over, but my time for excuses really is.

So buoyed by the near 50 degree weather, I threw on a long sleeve t-shirt and some capris, and Nick and I did an easy 3miles as the sun set. We then tacked on an extra mile walking the neighborhood with a very happy Joe and Ally. Nothing long, or even too terribly taxing, but an acceptable slide back into a routine for now.