Sharing a hobby

My stepson Daniel arrived Tuesday evening for a ten day visit from California. Unless you and your folks are best friends, I've found that one of the challenges of adult children visiting their parents is how to spend that "quality time". I know it's something I sort of dread when visiting my own parents -- these are the people that raised you, but you have different lives and different interests. How do you find ways to enjoy time together without always carrying the baggage of childhood with you.

We love Daniel very much and hate that for now he has chosen to establish his life so far away. But, in terms of how we spend our free time, his choices and our's tend to be radically different. And especially with Stuart's shoulder not working right now, things like golf (which was a hobby they used to share together when Dan was younger) aren't an option. So yesterday we proposed that he come to spin class with us. Surprisingly he was game.

We arrived super early to get good bikes (turns out they've redone the cycle room and they're all good now), get Daniel set up, and just get an extra 30min of riding done. It took him about 20 min to get dialed in and comfortable, but he was pretty open minded about it. This wasn't our favorite instructor, but it was kind of fun to watch Stuart and Dan working and sweating side by side. He hung with it through the entire workout, which was impressive for a first-timer.

Afterwards, he kept a positive attitude, but wouldn't commit to doing it once more with us next week before he leaves. Whether he does or doesn't, I know it meant a lot to Stuart (and to me) that he was willing to engage in something important to us. And maybe we gave him a peek into the benefits, fun and endorphins that are involved in healthy lifestyle choices. The real challenge as parents is how to find those of his pasttimes and pursuits that we aren't in conflict about, and engage him. Let him broaden our view into his world.