Yes, call me a chump. I was a believer. No one could be so vociferous in defending themselves, so nasty and litigious in the face of accusations, and actually be guilty. It seemed improbable, it seemed like the miracle he claimed it was, it was a heroic story.
Except it wasn't. And I feel hurt. The yellow bracelets have been thrown away. The posters extolling hard work as the reason behind being a champion have come down from the makeshift gym in our basement. The books will go in the Goodwill pile. Now if only the anger in my stomach would go away. As an athlete, I admired him. As I watched family members build lives after cancer, I turned to him as a vision of what was possible. LiveSTRONG, right?
Honor is a character trait that I take very seriously. He is dishonorable. And, if my perceptions of his interview are accurate, he's not really remorseful which means he still hasn't found a way to regain whatever honor he might one day have had.
Are there really no heros any more? To whom do I look when I need inspiration? Who can I point to when my daughter asks who I admire?
I'm saddened that I was so naive as to believe in the face of unlikely odds. And, I defended the downright horrible ugliness that was his defense against what turned out to be those who stated the truth.
Why does it matter so much?
2 months ago
2 comments:
I was a believer as well, I was sadden by the news, I admired him as an athlete as well. THough he "confessed", it lacked compassion and sincerity, he still doesnt get it.
Bree Wee and Chrissie Wellington seem to be good athletes to follow, although, it seems in the past couple of years, I have started following pros less and less and start really looking up to the age groupers, so many inspiring stories!!
I'm getting caught up on your blog and had to pause to give this post a huge AMEN, especially your observation about his lack of remorse. It's hard to muster up any warmth for someone so unrepentant who seems to regret only that he got caught.
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