Wants vs Needs

Last weekend, while at the bike store with Billy, I stumbled upon a beautiful bike -- a 2008 BH Connect Ultegra SL. Gorgeous. Sat on it for a minute, but tore myself away. Until last night, after spin class, Stuart and I wandered in to the store "just to show [him] the bike I saw but we aren't buying."

Twenty minutes later I've taken a short test ride, they've offered me a ridiculously awesome price, discussed financing options and I've said I'll be back Saturday to be fitted on it before making a final purchase decision. The problem is, Stuart and I are very bad influences on each other. We'll both sacrifice for ourselves, but can easily be swayed by the desire to do/say/acquire something to make the other happy. Last night we kept talking it over, knowing we shouldn't do it, but looking for a reason to buy it. This is a want, not a need.

You see, I like my road bike. His name is Coraggio, which means courage in Italian. I named him because I needed some courage to learn to ride and enjoy riding. And he's been good to me. I've put in thousands of miles with him over the past four years - training, racing, commuting, and fun rides. But the truth is, I want more. I'm ready for more. I'm ashamed to admit that I'm ashamed of my bike. Or more appropriately, ashamed of myself that I'm ashamed of my bike. Coraggio's like the kid you were friends with in junior high, and now that you're in high school you still secretly think he's nice, but the other kids tell you he's not cool and so you stop talking to him.

Most of my friends and family with whom I ride have beautiful bikes. They're sleek, sexy, carbon fiber, weigh next to nothing. Bikes that other riders nod at, that garner respect as the kind of bikes that serious cyclists ride. That's not Coraggio. No one would ever describe him in those terms. He's aluminum, with a simple red paint job, and a pretty mediocre set of componentry. A great entry level bike. I'm still not a great cyclist, but I feel like I've definitely improved beyond an entry level rider. I typically place somewhere in the middle of my age group in the bike leg of triathlons. I comfortably finished my first century ride last fall. And I keep wanting a bike that reflects where I'm at as a rider. Which is why this little BH gem spoke to me this week.

I dreamed about this decision, and woke up knowing that buying it wasn't the right decision but still wishing it would be. I keep saying I want a new bike. But I certainly don't need a new bike. Two very different words. Many thanks to Bill for emailing with me all day, helping me justify why this isn't the bike for me. Instead, I think maybe I'll invest in some upgrades for Coraggio. He'll never be the hotshot superstar bike that my friends have. But with a new shiny groupset, he'll shine again in my eyes and move to that next level of ability with me, instead of being left behind as a has-been. Reminding myself that I tri for joy, and he has brought me that. He isn't a hotshot superstar...but neither am I. We're both good, we're both happy and courageous to be out on the road. I need to remember that, and have gratitude for where I've come from and those things (and people) that have helped me make the journey.